GOD'S LOVE IS REAL!

The other day I had an experience which reminded me how real God's love is! What occurred was sorrowful, frightening, to say the least but when I think of the spiritual learning that came from it, I must say, it was bitter-sweet.. I would like to share what happened, as recorded in my own journal.  Then I would like to share some of the things I learned and recalled about God's Love for Us.

Journal May 15, 2014:

What an awfully embarrassing, and frightening thing happened today. I was moving things [in and out of the] van and the apartment [with my 18 month old daughter] when my mother called on the phone. I grabbed abby, hands full of stuff,...and carried her inside. Then I shut the door, to keep her from running [back] outside.   

...at least 10 minutes later (which felt like seconds to me), I got a ring on my doorbell. I looked in the peep hole and could see that it was my neighbor. I was feeling a little overwhelmed at all that was happening. ... I answered [the door] and, to my astonishment, no, to my absolute horror, abigail was being held in the arms of a complete stranger to me! My neighbor, behind them, was walking away, without a word.  

I was in shock! “ How on earth did my little abby get outside?” Then the lady proceeded to tell me all that she saw. Abigail was seen walking from our apartment complex and into the parking lot of the Plazma Center, which is next door to my home. She almost got hit by a car and finally wandered to the front door of the building, by which the stranger, who was watching this all happen, did what she knew was right. She grabbed abigail and determined "I'm going to knock on every door if I have to, to get her back to her home." My daughter was wandering the streets outside for more than 10 minutes without my even having a clue!!!!   

...Oh, how awful I felt inside. And yet, how grateful I felt to this lady who rescued my child. She was Heavenly Fathers hands- for me- this day. I thank God for the safety of my daughter. I thank God that she didn’t get hit by that car and I thank God that it was this lady who found my daughter and not someone else. I also thank God that [she]  was willing to stop what she was doing to do what was right, get my child back to where she should have been - home.  [She] was an angel for me this day. Not only did she rescue my daughter, but she didn’t express one single hint of anger, hate, or ridicule towards me for what happened. [In fact, she was quite the opposite, expressing love and understanding towards me].

Now, I ask you. How would you feel if you were in my position?

What would you be thinking if you were my neighbor who walked away, without a word?

How would you feel if you were the woman who was carrying my baby?

I can tell you. I had a thousand hateful and angry thoughts come to my mind as I realized what I had done and as I imagined how all of these people must have perceived me:

"How COULD YOU!" "YOU are an AWFUL MOTHER!...You shouldn't be a mother at all! You are so neglectful! You are Horrible! ...You are not worthy of your children! You are not worthy of love! I have... NO respect for people like YOU!

I thought of everything I "should have" done and "could have" done. And everything I didn't do and ought to have done.

But when I turned to my Eternal Father in earnest prayer and asked Him what He thought of me, His response was unlike any other. His was a voice of love and comfort, of assurance and hope.

“Father. Am I a horrible Mother?” I cried. I wanted to Hear Him Tell me how awful I was, set me in my place, make justice for what I did wrong. But, instead, I heard “That is not the Lord’s way.” and then, these words “I the Lord, God, Judge not as The World.” 3 times I asked Him and 3 times He responded “I the Lord, God, Judge not as The World.”

When being embraced in His incredible love, I could not find a way to fear or worry, to demean or criticize myself. His love superceded every other feeling I might have had. But the temptation to fall into a dark and sorrowful place remained. I wrote to my Mother that night “I am still trying not to feel like an awful mom for what happened today. ...If it wasn’t for God’s love and comfort and assurances He keeps giving me, I would be in a much more distraught position. I’m so grateful for God.”

I bear witness that God’s love is real! He LOVES you! His love is NOT a delusion made up of wishful thinking! No matter How estranged you are in sin, No matter how often you fall, HIS LOVE NEVER CEASES! HIs love for you is Infinite! I can not find the words to express the grandeur of His love for you. But I hope you know it’s true. If you don’t, I implore you to earnestly seek His love and, if you do, I promise you will find it!

Never Give up! Never stop trying to do what you know is right, no matter how many times you fall and fail! He will help you, He will lift you and encourage you to keep going. He is ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU. Never to hate, condemn or criticize. Always to shape, refine and renew- through that infinite love which He has for YOU!

I bear witness of this, in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Redeemer,

Amen.